Why are people so bad at forgiving themselves?
When we fail or make a mistake, we blame ourselves before anyone else. I should have done this at that time, why couldn’t I stay calmer, I have to do it better next time – this inner voice tightens our hearts. The more serious and sensitive a person is, the faster and deeper this introspection turns into self-attack. However, for those who have repeatedly suffered heartache in this way, the “quiet habit of thinking” that is the sport of golf can be a major turning point. This is because golf has a system of “resetting after each hole.”
Golf teaches us that even if we stumble, there's always another chance
Even if you hit an OB on the first hole or can’t get out of the bunker, the game doesn’t end there. Even if you get a big number like “8” on your scorecard, the rules of golf state that you start over with “1” on the next tee. In this “structural forgiveness,” golfers are forced to learn how to switch gears. Regretting, getting angry, or shedding tears won’t help you move forward. The uniqueness of the sport of golf is that you can understand the reality that “worrying about it won’t change anything” not through logic but through “experience.”
Instead of "blaming yourself," "prepare for the next step"
People instinctively blame themselves to avoid repeating mistakes. But sometimes this reaction can be toxic and slow down your next action. In golf, if you go into the next shot while still dwelling on the previous mistake, your body will stiffen, your swing will shrink, and you will make more mistakes. That’s why top players are more conscious of “getting into shape” than “blaming themselves.” Whatever happens on a hole, take a deep breath, drop your shoulders, look at the sky, and focus on the next wind. There is a soft strength in “letting go of the past without denying it.”
Resetting does not mean "forgetting"
Resetting after each hole is not simply “forgetting.” Rather, it is the act of “accepting and quietly leaving it behind.” This is a mental skill that can be applied in business and human relationships, and is a powerful model of thinking that enables people who are particularly “easily hurt.” The important thing is not “not making mistakes,” but “how to deal with yourself when you make mistakes.” When you are able to face this, for the first time you will be able to look at yourself with a “self-nurturing gaze.” And that gaze can change your life.
When you can be kind to "yourself today," you can move forward
The division of each hole is not simply a structure for progressing the game. Rather, it is a repetition of “practice to reset the mind” and the foundation of the spirit of “hitting the ball in the present without fear of the future.” Even if your score is bad, if you are caught up by the group in front, or if your partner is good – still, you must be quiet and kind to yourself. When you can do that, golf goes beyond sport and becomes a “life therapy” to restore self-esteem. Golf does not require you to be a perfect person. It simply teaches you to improve yourself at your own pace. Those who come into contact with these teachings will surely think, “Ah, I don’t have to blame myself anymore.”