To those who have managed to survive by comparing themselves: Time to step down from the judgement seat

Why we are attracted to strength

If you’re drawn to strong words, rough attitudes, and a frightening way of life, it’s not because you’re violent or a bad person. It’s simply because you don’t want to appear weak.

The meaning of not being able to step in

You
must understand.

What the eyes of a truly strong person

How much resolve and sacrifice the real world requires.

That’s why
you couldn’t step in.

That wasn’t cowardice.

It just meant that you knew the reality.

When your longing is left as just a shape

But still,
the longing remains.

– It’s okay to raise your voice.
– You don’t have to explain.
– You can be on the side of those who are feared.

I feel like that way of life
protects me.

So I imitate similar people.

I speak more forcefully.

I have a bolder attitude.

I make the distinction between superior and inferior clear.

And that’s how I’ve managed to stand up.

The peace of mind that comes from borrowed strength

But
you know best.

It’s borrowed.

Only while you’re scaring someone can

stay alive.

Only while they’re silent can

you feel safe.

Why are quiet people scary?

That’s why I’m afraid of quiet people.

Someone who doesn’t say anything,
don’t get on top of or behind you,
and doesn’t run away or fight.

That person
doesn’t reject you.

But they just don’t need your weapons.

And that’s the hardest part.

When you sit in judgment, the world becomes simpler

When you sit in the seat of judgment,
the world becomes simple.

Strong or weak?

Top or bottom?

You don’t have to waver.

You don’t have to think.

But
the longer you sit in that seat,
the harder it becomes to get down.

Because if you step down,
you feel like you’ll become nobody.

A sign that the seat no longer fits

If you’ve been feeling like this lately:

– You don’t feel at ease even when you win

– You don’t feel satisfied when the other person stays silent

– The more you act tough, the more tired you become

That’s not evidence that something’s broken.

It just means that the seat you’re in isn’t a good fit anymore.

From here on, it's not flashy.

From here on,
it’s not flashy.

In fact,
it feels pathetic.

A time that is neither strong,
frightening,
nor appreciated.

The fear of time being exposed

Don’t argue.
Don’t prove anything.
Don’t create a hierarchy.

When you do that,
you expose your inner self.

It’s scary.
It looks empty.

But that’s your original “self.”

What I'm really afraid of

What you’re really afraid of
isn’t becoming weak.

It’s the anxiety of wondering whether you can survive
without any pretense.

The moment when the type of resolve changes

Stepping down from the seat of judgment
is not defeat.

It’s not running away.

It means a change in the type of resolve.

From a resolve to oppress others
to a resolve not to deceive yourself.

You can stay here without comparing

If you’re stuck right now,

it’s not the end.

You’re simply standing at the entrance to the scariest, yet most righteous path you’ve never chosen before.

You don’t have to be strong.

You don’t have to be intimidating.

You’re here without comparison.

Once you know that,

life finally becomes yours.